I'm the mother fuckin
Pokemaster
BITCH
The name's Madison. 18 years young and trying to make the best of it. North Carolina born and raised. I'm kind of completely obsessed with American Horror Story and Skins. Mayday Parade and Fun. are my shit.

»
I no longer need you to fuck me as hard as I hate myself
Make love to me
like you know I am better than the worst thing I ever did
Go slow
I’m new to this.
-

Buddy Wakefield (via theworldismadeofwords)

Woah. I cant even begin to tell you how much I relate to this.

(via herpessupport)

1 week ago on October 8th, 2014 | J | 1,308 notes

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

1 week ago on October 8th, 2014 | J | 385,812 notes

You can call me all the shitty names you want and tell me I’m just a number but we both know we meant so much more to each other than that.

1 week ago on October 7th, 2014 | J | 0 notes

herpessupport:

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 

Parents for the love of God please educate your children. Your body is a thing to be explored and understood, not treated like a secret that no one should know about

2 weeks ago on October 2nd, 2014 | J | 299,194 notes

I want to talk to you but at the same time I kind of think you are just sad and desperate because your only friends are like high school age girls.

2 weeks ago on September 29th, 2014 | J | 1 note

lololololol yea I’m not fucking apologizing because you’re a lazy slob who never did their dishes until we actually said something. Maybe if we didn’t always see you use dishes and then leave them around we wouldn’t think all the dirty dishes were yours.

3 weeks ago on September 28th, 2014 | J | 1 note
wheatleyhastings:

reversecentaur:

plantkitten:

aw pup

honey no

Bless you fluffy baby

wheatleyhastings:

reversecentaur:

plantkitten:

aw pup

honey no

Bless you fluffy baby

3 weeks ago on September 28th, 2014 | J | 183,428 notes
3 weeks ago on September 25th, 2014 | J | 6,633 notes
49 plays

Me and my friends way of telling our other roommates to DO THEIR FUCKING DISHES.

3 weeks ago on September 25th, 2014 | J | 4 notes
You broke my fucking heart so.

You broke my fucking heart so.

3 weeks ago on September 24th, 2014 | J | 427,234 notes
4 weeks ago on September 21st, 2014 | J | 54,002 notes
You were always
the one putting me
back together whenever
I fell apart so I clung
to you until I realized you
were the one breaking me
to begin with.
1 month ago on September 19th, 2014 | J | 10 notes

stop-chicken-nugget-abuse:

nevvzealand:

happy birthday someone

I like reblog going this becaUSE WHAT IF YOU SAW THIS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE

I JUST SAW THIS ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

1 month ago on September 19th, 2014 | J | 696,656 notes
Guard porn

Guard porn

1 month ago on September 19th, 2014 | J | 441 notes
The big 2-0

The big 2-0

1 month ago on September 18th, 2014 | J | 1 note